Think of someone you idolize. Maybe a mentor, an artist, an athlete, or a historical figure long dead.
Now pretend you somehow landed dinner with them. You sat down, warmed up with small talk, and ordered your food. The candle is lit, the drinks are here. It’s time to really start the conversation.
They ask you to say exactly what runs through your mind. You do so:
“These coconut crab kebabs are delicious. Are these called kebabs or did I just out myself as unsophisticated? You live on the high floors of buildings, whereas I… wonder if a crab could make it up an escalator? Like, would it cartwheel if it fell? I wonder how Tim’s dog is doing. A skink bit the dog. Or surely Tim meant skunk. But bit, not sprayed? Teeth, need to call dentist. Skink is a lizard? Can all reptiles lick their own eyeballs? Jeff. The dog’s name is Jeff.”
Your idol would excuse themselves to the bathroom and never return.
If you were to speak your thoughts aloud, what would they sound like? Would your inner voice(s) be coherent or overlap? Are the words shouted or whispered? Consoling or nagging? Kind or abusive?
Much of the time we wade through a soup of abstract half-thoughts. The mind flits from one fragment of an idea, memory, or emotion to another, especially when we’re tired, hungry, upset, or distracted. Unchecked, it can feel like trying to have conversations with people on a dozen passing trains. Good luck resolving anything in such a frenzied environment.
On any given day, the most meaningful conversation you’ll have is likely the conversation you have with yourself. It will shape that day, the next, and so on. So don’t half-ass it.
Forcing yourself to think in complete sentences is daunting at first. But if you do it routinely, just once a day for a few minutes, you’ll feel a little more at ease. Once you begin, you may be surprised at the backlog that’s been waiting for an outlet.
Journaling is an excellent way to do this. It isn’t just a way to record history, it’s a way to develop the mind by writing about what’s in it. The same goes for talking (and talk therapy). Perhaps that’s why people, especially before the smartphone age, so often talked aloud to themselves.
“Your mind is a dream where a thousand people talk at the same time, and nobody understands each other.”
~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements (Book)
