We obsess over arrivals. Hellos and handshakes. Wonka limping toward the crowd, then somersaulting into song. But we rarely talk about exits. And yet knowing when to leave might be more important than knowing when to show up.
Arrivals are momentary, whereas the time you spend lingering in subsequent spaces can stretch into eternity.
You may feel this human tension, even with people you love. We crave connection, but some of us get socially claustrophobic fast, can’t stand the suffocating feeling of others invading our space for too long. We often want company until we have it.
It’s why we swear to keep in touch, then don’t. Why we love parties but leave feeling drained. Why we go home for the holidays, cram into childhood beds, revive old tensions, and create this standoff where everyone wonders how long it will last but nobody wants to be the one to shout “Enough!” There are people we’d like to see more often, but for less time.
Some people leave you feeling energized and alive after a multi-day stretch, while others drain you in minutes. The hard part is admitting which are which, regardless of bloodlines, proximity, and prior relationships.
It’s easier to know when to leave things like jobs or parties. When the energy dips and the people you admire and respect are gone, you should be, too. It’s harder to know when to leave a friend, a partner, a family member, a hometown, or a belief. At some point, in all things, your presence will have served its purpose.
There’s no perfect formula for knowing when to leave. Some people leave too soon. They leave their children, abandon opportunities, run because something’s challenging or uncomfortable. But some stay too long. They rot in place. Burn bridges. Let love curdle, wait for the flash of a blade, a knife in their back.
You should often leave before you have to.
Leaving well is an act of self-respect. It means you value your time, your growth, your happiness enough to keep moving when things are stalling. Departures, while painful, force open space for new beginnings.
“Visits should be short, like a winter’s day, lest you are too troublesome to hasten away.”
~Ben Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac (Book)
